No one plans to get married and then get a divorce. The plan is to get married and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. People change, dynamics change and a myriad of factors can occur that make divorce the only option. This scenario can happen more than once in your life.
Having to get divorced a second time can leave you with all types of new feelings that you may not have experienced the first time. You may feel embarrassed or ashamed that this is happening again. The feelings you may be experiencing are natural and normal. Your own mind can be pretty hard on you. It wants to protect you from being exposed to stress and trouble in the future so it is really going to pour on the negative feelings.
Just because you lived through divorce once, doesn’t mean a second divorce will be any easier. There may be much more entanglement this time. Kids, finances, property: all of these things may be a factor in this divorce.
One topic that comes up in second divorces that rarely does in the first is the matter of step-children. You may have grown very attached and love the child of your spouse’s previous marriage. Will you still be able to see them?
Effects on Children
Psychology studies indicate that multiple divorces can have an impact on children’s minds. In a way, it affects their brain just like a bad break-up affects an adult’s brain. And multiple divorces can have a cumulative effect. It is imperative to seek the guidance of a counselor for any children, even ones in their teens.
It is important to realize that every relationship is different and the divorce process will be different for each one. Often times, the second divorce is described as worse by many divorcees. It is important to seek counseling for children and perhaps yourself if you feel overwhelmed with pressure and anxiety.
Even though this is an emotional event, it often helps to think about it logically and logistically. This will help you make it through the divorce process and the separation of mutual assets.